Thursday, February 17, 2011

The following are real emails.

Current lesson: Selling a house "by owner" is quite possibly the biggest pain in the you-know-what. I am slowly realizing that maybe there is some validity to realtor's jobs and maybe, just maybe, they may be worth the 8% (but maybe not).

These are real emails I have received regarding our home (These have been copied and pasted in their original format -- so you can get the full effect).

Potential buyer: Would like to see pics of inside plz does it have a basment or storm shleter what it ur lowest price it would be cash thanks
Email #2 (from same person): Sorry I can't I live in I'll right now but moving. That way soon I will keep all ur info. I'm looking on here for now I just want to fine a place buy then move all at once it will be cash for the house that I fine. But would plz send more piz I have looked a a few it u don't mine would plz send addy and town with pics so I can remember witch. House and town its at. Thanks

Dear Sir/Madam,
I was directed by my client, Mrs Nadine Brigit Gupta to contact you and I'm writing in regards to the transfer of US$7.5million (equivalent GBP£4,712,189.48) from a dormant Fixed deposit account belonging to late Mr Raja Gupta, Husband to Mrs Nadine Brigit Gupta, who is presently taking treatment at Cancer center: Christie Hospital NHS Trust.
Let me begin by commending you for your prompt response to Mrs Gupta's proposal and also i appreciate your willingness to work with me in executing Mrs Brigit Gupta's wish. I believe that it marks the beginning of a lifetime business and interpersonal relationship with you. Let me emphasize that as partners in this deal, you and I must Allow MUTUAL TRUST, HONESTY AND CONFIDENTIALITY to mark the foundation of our relationship, as these are the minimal basis that will enable us work well together. Having said this let me bring you into the full picture of what we are doing so that you will understand what your role will be in facilitating the quick completion of Mrs Brigit Gupta's wish.

According to Mrs Gupta's instructions, find below her proposal for proper implementation of her wish with her US$7,500,000. She instructed that:

1. 70% of her money which is $5,250,,000 should be donated to reliable childcare's charity organization or alternatively for establishment of a new children charity organization in her husband's Name. And also for taking care of any expenses in the course of this transaction and for the purchase of properties which will be donated to the charity organisation

2. 30% of her money which is $2,250,000 should be paid to the your for kindness and assistance as her appointed beneficiary for your commitment and support.

It is my duty to ensure that all the relevant information and documents that would authorize you the access to the funds would be forwarded to the bank accordingly by me and I would give you the necessary guidance and directives you might need to ensure that the paying Bank approves your name as the authorized beneficiary of the fund.

With the above conditions of myself and yourself executed accordingly as partners, i am very sure that we would conclude this project of receiving the $7,500,000. for the establishment of a charity organization as instructed by my client, Mrs Nadine Brigit Gupta within a couple of days. You are well matured to know that this project needs utmost confidentiality because this is a monetary issue.

I thank you once again for your mail and I assure you of a good relationship while I wait your immediate response and please state the below information of yours and you are kindly advised to attach a scan copy of your drivers' license or passport which I would use to procure relevant documents of this project in your favor as the appointed beneficiary.

1) Full Name
2) Address.
3) Contact Phone numbers and fax.
4) Occupation.
5) Position in your work place.
6) Age and Marital Statues.

I wait for your urgent response in this regard confirming your willingness to partner with me in this deal for the fulfillment of my client's wish.

Yours sincerely,
Sir Frederick MacGregor ESQ.
Legal practitioners.
Direct Telephone:- +447024084999

That is all for now.


  1. This made my day. The first two emails are CLASSIC!

  2. Selling that dang house would make my day. Receiving emails like these irritate me, but they are sure fun to laugh at!